What is your first name, occupation, and roles you most identify with? Laurel - COO of The Clan Merrill, home and life - woman, mother, wife, teacher, sister, daughter, friend, wolf, witch. Keeper of the flame.
What is the most positive thing about being a woman now? The mounting awareness of and access to women’s actual subjectivities, realities, stories and existential truths. The increased frequency of portrayals of women in which neither they nor their bodies are objectified. The rise in the awareness of consent, of rape culture and of the importance of inter-sectionalism. The fighting back. The calling out. The giving ZERO F*cks. The living through - and learning from - a time in history of such vast social and cultural dichotomy and change (with regard to gender, race, politics, societal norms - the list goes on) that now, standing at this dark precipice, we can actually begin to focus on what we/Women want for ourselves and the generations that follow.
What is the hardest thing about being a woman now? The hardest thing is inextricable from the most positive. As positive as the evolution of society toward a more honest, equitable and inclusive future for women is - it also means that things grew to a critical point. Some hard realizations and examinations HAD to be done. Some serious inventory HAD to be taken - on the toll our sexism, misogyny, patriarchy, racism, white supremacy, etc. were taking. Additionally, seeing all that society REALLY puts on the shoulders of women has been difficult. Not that I wasn’t aware - but 2020 doled out a condensed dose of it which was harder to swallow. We absorb so many of the consequences of so many ills, missteps, decisions and just the fundamental way our patriarchal society is structured that just attempting to wrap your brain around it can be overwhelming to the point of paralysis.
When did you first notice that society treated men and women (or boys and girls) differently? I don’t think there was a moment I can point to exactly. I’m sure it started with the fact that my parents (for awhile) filled the stereotypical gender roles and things just snowballed from there. I do remember noticing and questioning why girls had to do some things and boys had to do others. But I also remember accepting it. Well, while I was young, at least.
How do you maintain your resiliency in tough times? I don’t. There’s no other way of being - as a woman. A member of an oppressed group. Resilience isn’t something I consciously maintain. It’s just part of me and all women or oppressed people. It’s not a choice. It’s just part of life when you live in a patriarchal society.
Why do you think past movements haven't moved the needle for women? While past movements have made gains (which, don’t get me wrong, should be given their due) - in regard to the grand scheme, the over-arching goal, the end game - they have fallen short. Why? While I won’t pretend I know enough about the history, theories or nuances of this topic to wax poetic I will say this - I believe that one of the biggest reasons (if not THE BIGGEST reason) is that past movements (and - I suspect - even most current movements) were not/are not intersectional. They have centered white, straight women instead of all people who identify as female. Until we do the work to overcome this massive structural flaw the social movement needle will continue to hover in mediocrity at best.
Do you think the current movement will be the one to change things for future generations? No. I think there are some rumblings to be optimistic about but over all - No. There is still too much work to be done. More learning. A lot of un-learning. More doing. Then some more doing after that. We need more evolution in this revolution and evolution is a long process.
What needs to happen for us to move forward? A lot of fundamental change. People need to start changing the way they think, the way they were programmed to think. Not only about gender but about race, sexual identity, poverty, marginalized groups, etc. They need to educate themselves, do the work, get off the internet and the Every Man For Himself train. Just for starters.
What can women do to make it better for other women? Listen. Support. Defend. Learn from. Empathize with. Debate and challenge in the spirit of growth and knowledge. The pendulum has swung so far in one direction that we don’t just need to support, defend, promote, hire, etc. “women too” but “women more.” We need to offset that weight with more.
What can men do to make it better for women?Speak up. Say something when another man says or does something degrading or objectifying to or about a woman. Do your homework - not only about the female experience but also about your own. What needs to change with how this society views masculinity? We don’t just need to make it better for women - we need to make it better for men. Again, we need gender and race deprogramming and reprogramming.